You are stupid!
You are dumb!
You are fat!
You are clumsy!
You cannot do anything properly!
You are a disgrace!
Have you heard one of these before?! Or maybe more than just one! Maybe you have heard other things! Even worse things! And that is annoying, nerve-wrecking, and does make someone angry, sad and incapacitated! These are the sentences used to lower someone’s self-esteem and confidence! The world is getting more and more used to that and to making sure they diminish people around them! But the real questions are: Why?! What for?! Why would someone do that?!
But you see, we blame everything on society! We blame that the society has done this to us: they have lowered our self-esteem, they have settled a pattern where only beautiful, skinny dumb, corrupt people can be in public for the society to worship! We blame that the society has put this image in our heads that we are not good enough for anyone, that we are not worthy of happiness and success, that we are not worthy of believing in ourselves because no one else will do, that we have failed so greatly that we should not be allowed to leave our houses and go on the streets! Yes, it is easy to blame on others isn’t it? We just get that image that “the society” puts out there and make it our excuse!
Honestly, I am sorry, but I came to realize that WE are the ones who put up those patterns, we are the ones who get insulted and yet do nothing about it! We are the ones who hide in our little world and make sure no one else gets in, that no one will disturb our own little world, and we decide that only FEW SELECTED people will be allowed to enter our little world! We make that! We decided not to do anything and just let “the society” do whatever they thought would be good for them!
And again: who are “them”? Who is “the society”? This is hard isn’t it?! Because “them”, “the society”, is actually made by everyone surrounding us, every single person in this world. But I believe that when we are talking about the society, we are truly talking about fashion, high-tech industries, people with money, the kind of money that does make this world go round! Elle, Vogue, MarieClaire, Cosmopolitan, SP Fashion Week, NY Fashion Week, and yes, the list could go on! You know what’s the funniest part?! We buy ALL THESE magazines just because one day we will become like those from the movies, from TV, from Runway shows!
And as the saying says: “Shit happens”!! And yes, they do!
Because we decide to open our little world to these ideas of being someone totally different one day, of becoming someone we are not and yet is adored by the whole world; we decide that these stupid, idiotic ideas get into our thoughts and advertise themselves into our world, making our world even more restricted than before! We decide to make sure that people that are how we want to be are not allowed, because, to be honest, no one would like to be reminded of what you are not all the time, right?! So we decide to put weapons and a dragon outside our world, just to make sure NO ONE ELSE gets in! And we decide that this is it, WHEN we become like that person, we’ll welcome everyone because it will be easier by the fact that everyone will adore us!
And we keep on doing that! We keep making our world less and less penetrable; we make it a threat! Until there’s one special person who gets in! And this person makes you put down your guards, make sure you get more relaxed around people and makes that little world more colorful! We still got our dogs on watch for anything that happens, but we are more opened! We realize that there are amazing people around us and how much we lost while stuck in our little world! We try getting back that time we lost with this amazing person who is now sharing his/her world with us, and our world becomes opened: people get in, get to know us, some will stay others will not, but we don’t care about that anymore! We speak up our minds and we pay attention to what others speak! We devote ourselves to this special person who showed us this amazing connections we can have with different worlds and how nice it is to really get to know other people and build bridges between our worlds!
We are on boost! We feel great about ourselves; we feel like we’ve been born to this person and that our worlds will be entwined and that everything will be great! Our lives have more sense and we have more confidence! Nothing else matters! No one else matters! What matters is how amazing and colorful our world now is, and how full of people it is as well! But then, as we know, our mate’s world is more opened to people than ours, and we get threatened by any person that gets closer to him/her and we forget about our feelings, about our colorful world, and everything goes gray again and our weapons and dragons and dogs and close our gates and decide to lock everyone inside!
We forget how much we love our mate and how much he/she loves us! We stop paying attention to that and just get sad and all those terrible feelings come again! But the things is that we cannot totally close our gates, because our world now is entwined with other worlds and they decide to let these people get to know their worlds, and eventually they’ll find our world, which means that we’ll have to try putting some colors around and try making it prettier and more attractive to others come and know it! But what we do just makes it worse because the gray is now so strong that mixing it with other colors, just makes it terrible! And now we have to keep these people around and because we don’t want to lose all the connections made before, we just keep our grayish-terrible-looking world opened to everyone! And the thing is that these people don’t come straight to our ugly world, they have to stand that just because the world are entwined, what makes all the situations worse because no side gets comfortable with the situation! Because, let’s me honest, no one lkes a gray world!
And we act like that because we think that the other person’s world is more colorful and more attractive, but that;s what we want to see and we miss that maybe the other person’s world is not as colorful as ours, and maybe sometimes it’s even grayer but this person, even with a gray world, can make it attractive for people to enter and help make it more colorful!
Thank you all for making my gray world more colorful and to those who this message may fit like a glove, being confident IS more attractive than feeling sorry for yourself and making yourself feel terrible, because when you are sad, the worlds entwined to yours also go gray!