I woke up in the middle of the night with the music coming from the apartment above me and feeling weird. It was late…and I was looking at that blank space on my bed. I caught myself imagening you there, looking at me, like you always used to when I was deep heavily sleeping. I started wondering where you were, what you were doing, who would be sharing your bed. We always thought the upstair neighbor to be a little off-this-world person, because she would always put the right song for all of our moments. Tonight, she felt like playing with me, or she was just feeling as alone as I was, because she decided to put the song she had put on our first fight.
Tears filled my eyes because I was frustaded you were probably having the same fight over the same stupid game with someone else, that would be arguing about whose turn was to wash the dishes with someone else, that would be complaining about the crazy neighbor next door with his non-stopping barking dogs to someone else. Yes, tonight she decided to play with me.
I went to the living room to see if the noise would be lower. Then I realized I hadn’t taken taken away all of our pictures from the living room. I forgot my favorite one, the one by the phone. I remember when we took it. It was your sister’s wedding and you had decided that that would be a great oportunity for me to meet your family. I remember I ended up as the bride’s maid because your cousing got food poisoned. That was a good day. We laughed, your family adored me and we were happy. You had that amazing glow in your eyes and then you said it … it was during an amazing song, in-between your breathing, barely audible but completely understandable … FOREVER
I put the picture down and set by the couch. So many things we shared. So many laughs, cries, frustations, success! You were always there. I relied on you … I gave you my most precious … I opened up and let you settle in … I was always amazed by the fact that some couples simply just look perfect together, and I reminded of how perfect we were together and how well we managed our lives and how syncronized we were. I reminded myself of the inumerous breakfasts in bed … of the countless nights we would talk into it about anything at all … of the terrible away nights we had because of our jobs … of that terrible feeling of being alone in this huge apartment you made sure we bought because you were determined to forever … I wiped away my tears … just so she could pinch something in.
I started Laghing out Loud! Yes, a cheater is always a cheater, ain’t that so? I feel sorry for your new pray. But me?! I am glad I always had the upstairs neighbor to make my soundtrack, and in every situation she gets better and better! But I’ve moved on! I got myself a dog, the one you never wanted; I got myself a brand new car, because the last one had your smell in it; I got myself new haircut and new way of life!
You are my past … and now I am looking for a future!